I’m still breathing.
Crying in the morning, before sleeping or at office (come to toilet so many times to cry)
I came to ask professional help.
Yes, to make me stop hurting myself or thinking to die.
I came to 3 psychologist in less than a month.
I spent hours there.
“My love is less than 50%”
“I’m not happy”
“I dont realize my love for you slowly disappears... maybe because we’re far”
That words keep coming to my ears.
1. You said “i’ll let you know, if i could accompany you on Saturday because you already promised me. I’ll help you to find activity.
No. You didnt contact me.
2. We were in same flight. You offered me to have same flight back with me.
But, you even didn’t try to text me ask me! “R u already there?” Or “where r you?”
No... you didn’t.
No word at all.
You texted me just because my mom was so frustrated seeing me couldn’t stop crying.
3. You said “if you still need me to accompany you for the event, i’m fine. And i’ll let u know how’s the situation for my event”
At that day.
No.. there was no call or text :)
And....
What you said “i will help you to through this”
How do you do that? Even you cannot keep you own word.
I’m out of my mind.
And suddenly.
You asked “hey, are u ok?”
Wow... my head... keep asking.
Why did u ask?
(Dont u just want to make yourself feel comfortable, if i said i’m good)
(So you can continue your life peacefully)
But... my stupid heart.... comforting.
No... he is not that mean.
And ur answer.
I’m happy seeing u good.
I’m speechless.
Disgusting.
Pretending i’m good.
When even you cant work without come for consultation and pay so much money to make this mind stay insane.
My question.
Are you happy now?
How’s your feeling?
Don’t be proud of your logic.
That makes you less human.
Do you love someone, with your logic?
If you got hurt or felt uncomfortable, you will leave her?
Or
Simply
You just
Never
Loved her?
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