For Future Me - Break Up Day 4

Hi,

It’s already late night here.
I was texting him today.
Asking his plan, is he ok, eat well, drive safely.

He has just replied my text.
Tired.

I realized today.
I’m no one now.
Last month he still mentioned how special i am for him.
I’m no one now.
Losing at all.
Unwanted.
Losing his caring feel.
He stop asking my day.
Stop asking am i eating well?
Stop asking about me.
He doesn’t want to know about me.
He stop to want to know.
Grief to “the meaning of me” for him
Today, is the grief for this.

I miss him so much.
I want to cry scream to universe.
God.... it’s so hard.
I miss him so much.
Give me strength to through this.
I love him so much, and i really do.

I do apologize for all of the bad words about him.
I do apologize for ungrateful, complaining about him.
When i say i accept him.
But talking something bad, improper and complaining behind him.

Maaf teramat besar untuk rasa tidak bersyukur disayangi dia sebulumnya.
Penyesalan terbesar karena tidak bersyukur.

You’ve done good job today.
You faced people outside.
And in the night.
You drained again.
The losing feeling is hurtful.

Hurtful.

I promise if you can trough this hard situation well.
I promise to you my dear future me.
I promise to take care or myself better.
I promise, i will not let it happen again.
I promise to protect you.

Be strong be strong be strong.
I beg to myself to please be strong.
It’s ok to cry a lot.
The pain is really pailful.
I know i know.
I do apologize to let this happen.
I promise, we will have fun, we will protect ourself together.

Tonight is so hurtful.
My heart is broken that hard.
God.... i dont have anyone to help.
I beg to You.
Please help me please help me.
Please help me.
It’s so hurtful.........