I found out.
My instagram is muted.
I dont know actually, it’s muted or he just skipped my story.
I talked to my friend
“Then what? Why do u still care about that?”

Yah i know.
It’s stupid.
It has been a year and i still cant get over it.
I dont know why.

Do i need to come to my therapist and ask why?
To be honest i miss him.
A lot.
Call me stupid or crazy.
I know.
I know.

Sad.
It’s tiring.

Break Up - almost a year (in a week)

Hi, how r you?
Hope you feel better today!

Today is 2nd day of Lebaran.

I would like to say thank you so much to myself.
For being strong through this tough year.
Reread the previous story, back to last year moment.
I am so proud of myself.
Thank you for taking care of yourself well.
Thank you for eating healthy food, working out consistently, pushing to stay alive, keep moving, dancing a lot, singing a lot, influencing closest people to start healthier life.

Thank you for being wiser, stronger and having bigger heart to accept the situation.
Thank you for stop blaming that i am not good enough to make someone stay.

Thank you for loving myself better.

It's quite surprising when you get unexpected attention from unexpected person, i don't think we can call it love.
Because i know, we both have so much love to someone else.

Thanks to him.
Thank you for staying around.
Thank you for taking care of me.
Thank you for laughing together effortlessly.
Thank you for holding my hand and simply rubbing my back every time i couldn't stop talking while crying and drunk.
Thank you for comforting me.
I do really hope you will always have a good life and being loved wherever you are.



Back to my ex.
He didn't say anything.
And he is with someone else now.
I saw him posted story about food from his girlfriend.
Read his message back from his birthday, "i dont want to be in love with anyone"
The first time i saw his story, my expression was like :) wow
Do i really have so much love this inconsistent person?
Maybe it's time to remove him from my instagram.

Moving on.
And totally letting him go.