I am checking my Instagram. Talked to my friend that i have feeling he will get married. And i find out he got married last night.
I cant lie, it’s sad
But i dont actually understand why i feel this way.
Am i envy or do i still have a feeling?
I want to run away somewhere.
Dear myself,
It’s ok to feel sad, feel the sadness. You have big heart. I will be with you forever.
Love,
Your future
Hi,
(I have just read the old text between me and him, a year ago i got food from him, i was in the mid of meeting and couldn’t buy lunch. He bought it for me)
It's been a while. I am questioning myself a lot.
Am i really ok? Am i just running away from the reality of getting hurt inside?
How hurt the pain inside, i have nothing to do.
Acceptance, i am looking for some answer but it keeps leading me to learn how to accept things peacefully, let it be and learn the real meaning of “it is what it is”
I have no control for anything.
I keep seeing them smiling and living their best life. I have different feeling now, thought i am getting stronger somehow. But do i really feel fine inside?
No, i feel sad but the sadness is in different scale or form than before, it feels like uncomfortable wave inside my chest.
Sometimes i miss the way how they made me feel comfortable, energize and happy.
I cant lie, curious do they really never think about me? Then the next question will come up, if yes then what? If no then what? Sadly i have to accept. We are no longer at the same bus, we are no longer relate to each other.
We are back to stranger to each other.
I miss you both.
Dear myself,
How sad, how hurt you are now. Take care and hanging there. I will see you in the future with full and warm heart. We will through this together. You know that i love you so much. I promise to learn more about yourself and taking care of you better.
I am waiting here, to see you with brighter smile from inside your heart.
Love,
Yourself
